This Is American Soccer, US Soccer, MNT, WNT, and MLS - Tackling the subject of Soccer in the US, and worldwide.

MLS and MLB both started their seasons over the weekend. Spring is in the air. Every year about this time, taking a look down at those few extra pounds that found there way to my midsection over the winter, I wonder what could have been. What if I stuck with soccer, stuck with any sport for that matter. Could I have gone pro? Call me a complete idiot, I still think I could have. Idiot.

Life is full of choices. Or at least that is what my mom told me when I fought that kid in fifth grade over a four square game, called him a son of a motherless goat (The Three Amigos was huge then), and had a little meeting with the principal. She also fed me that cliche when I got caught with three teammates from the Varsity soccer team smoking marijuana after practice, and again, got a glorious meeting with the principal.

It happened countless more times. Life is full of choices. It took me all the way to college to fully realize the choices we make. For the first time, I was in control. I could choose my college, my major, my life in no uncertain terms. I chose to stop playing soccer for the first time in more than a decade, for no small part because I could do what I wanted now without the threat of the principal’s office or the watchful eye of parental wisdom. It wasn’t that I hated soccer, but I knew it wasn’t going to be my career because I wasn’t THAT good, and moreover, there were a lot of things I wanted to do.

As the years slide by, you are faced with more questions with less or at least different opportunities. What do you want to do and how bad do you want it? Answer those questions honestly and proceed accordingly. It’s that simple.

Time is of the essence is another cliché, that like the previous, makes more sense the older you are. Some of you may be too young to understand, and likely have a few more trips to the principal’s office in front of you. But I’d bet Evan Bruno knows what I’m talking about. He’s got our next installment for the Diary Project….

Getting cut from the State team in New Jersey in 1995 was all that I needed. My mother taught me that if I want something, I have to go for it…. I wanted to be a great soccer player. My story is not about making myself look good. That’s not me. My story is for every player after me. It’s not sad, it’s not about a player who quit the sport, and it’s not about a player who never made it to the MLS. It’s about the reality of an American soccer player. It’s about being told you are not good enough, and having to prove that you are. It’s about being told you aren’t smart enough to get into a school, and then graduating in four years. It’s about getting an opportunity, and jumping on it. And what better country than America, the land of opportunity? This is American Soccer

I got my first break as a soccer player my Junior Year in High School. I went to a MetroStars soccer camp at Kean University in New Jersey. My counselor was Dean Koski, college coach at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania. I had no idea that I had just met a man that would shape much of who I am today. At the end of the week, I found myself getting the camp award for MVP and a full weeks paid trip to Italy to train with the A.C. Milan youth team. Coach Koski told me I was raw, but if I worked hard, I could be a great player. I thought I was on top of the world, I wrote to Syracuse, Maryland, Delaware, Notre Dame, Indiana, Penn State, UCLA, if they had a division 1 soccer team, they got a letter from me. One by one the letters came back, “You’re just not the caliber player we are looking for”, “Due to your inexperience with any State team or high caliber club team, we aren’t interested”, “You are just not division 1 material”. That was the worst letter I have ever received, and a quote that I would never forget.

during life’s biggest decisions, you are all alone

My frustration grew when the local New Jersey schools and Rutgers University, which was 20 minutes down the road, failed to even give me a look. I was verbally committed to my hometown Monmouth University when the phone rang and it was Coach Dean Koski. He told me he wanted me to come to Lehigh, that I was a “Diamond in the rough”. Despite the fact that nobody wanted me, and my grades were far lower than the average at Lehigh (970 SAT to 1300 average at Lehigh) Coach Koski fought until the end to get me in. He finally did when he convinced the Dean of Students to give me a chance to prove myself. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Fast Forward to Senior Year in College, I scored my 100th point in Annapolis, Maryland against Navy. I was only the second player in Patriot League Conference history to score 100 points. I scored 40 goals and added 21 assists during my career at Lehigh. I was 1st Team All-Conference 3 years, Player of the Year in the Conference for 2 years, Regional All-American 3 years, and even made 3rd team All-American, not bad for a kid who was told he “wasn’t division 1 material”. Oh yeah, the coach who made that comment was from Delaware University, needless to say the 3 goals I scored against them in a 4-0 win my sophomore year is one of my favorite memories…..Thanks coach, you are the reason I made it.

Halfway through my junior year in college, my coach sat me down and asked if I wanted to play professional soccer. I said “Yes, of course”. He told me that if I really wanted it, I could do it, but it would be a five-year commitment to make it in this country. He said “You have to find your own chances; they aren’t going to find you”. He told me that being a professional soccer player in this country means traveling to tryouts in Portland, Oregon. It means playing games in front of 40 people. It means living out of your car if you have to, and living check to check just to survive. I didn’t care, I was committed to making this happen

not bad, blowing by Frankie Hejduk

The Dallas Burn tryout didn’t go so well. At the end of the week the coach pulled me aside and said, “I think you’re good enough of a player to be in the MLS at some point, just not yet” I respected his honesty and moved along. Hey, this wasn’t the first time someone told me I wasn’t good enough. I picked myself up and headed back east. There was good news when I returned, the Long Island Roughriders were interested in me and I was able to head out there for a tryout. The Roughriders compete in The United Soccer League’s Second division, and believe it or not it’s a very good level. I came in my rookie year and was immediately competing for a spot on a team with Giovanni Savarese from the MetroStars and Jim Rooney from New England. These are guys that I was watching in the MLS a few years earlier.

I won my spot and was the starting outside midfielder for the Roughriders. I started 19 games my rookie year and added 3 goals and a few assists to go along with that. Something important happened to me during the season though. As every day of my commitment passed, my desire to be committed to it was weakening. My mind was constantly questioning whether I really had it in me to continue this struggle, and in the end, I didn’t. I walked into my General Manager’s office in February 2005 and told him I wouldn’t be coming back for my second year. He was surprised and asked “how could you quit, you are 23, you haven’t even reached your prime yet? It was at that point when I came to the most important revelation of my life…… I realized that I didn’t have the five year commitment in me, I wanted too many other things in my life. In this country, if you don’t have a 100% percent commitment level to play soccer, you won’t succeed. I wasn’t quitting. “I’m not quitting sir; I just don’t want this anymore. My Mother taught me that if I want something I have to go for it, and I want other things.”

Endnote:
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cover photo credit: moretimeforyou.com