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BALLAD OF A THIN MAN EDITION

You walk into the room / With your pencil in your hand / You see somebody naked / And you say, “Who is that man?” / You try so hard / But you don’t understand / Just what you’ll say / When you get home / Because something is happening here / But you don’t know what it is / Do you, Mister Jones?

Grant Wahl’s cover story on Beckham’s arrival.

You raise up your head / And you ask, “Is this where it is?” / And somebody points to you and says “It’s his” / And you say, “What’s mine?” / And somebody else says, “Where what is?” / And you say, “Oh my God / Am I here all alone?” / Because something is happening here / But you don’t know what it is / Do you, Mister Jones?

A baseball grows in Brazil

You hand in your ticket / And you go watch the geek / Who immediately walks up to you / When he hears you speak / And says, “How does it feel / To be such a freak?” / And you say, “Impossible” / As he hands you a bone / Because something is happening here / But you don’t know what it is / Do you, Mister Jones?

Grant Wahl on the crucial need for the Latino acceptance of Beckham.

Now you see this one-eyed midget / Shouting the word “NOW” / And you say, “For what reason?” / And he says, “How?” / And you say, “What does this mean?” / And he screams back, “You’re a cow / Give me some milk / Or else go home” / Because something is happening here / But you don’t know what it is / Do you, Mister Jones?

U20 boys go to drama school, try to win the first world cup of any kind for the males.

Well, you walk into the room / Like a camel and then you frown / You put your eyes in your pocket / And your nose on the ground / There ought to be a law / Against you comin’ around / You should be made / To wear earphones / Because something is happening here / But you don’t know what it is / Do you, Mister Jones?

If the WNT wins a world cup and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?